- Remember all human beings have similar universal needs.
- Check your willingness to be of service to your own needs. Check your willingness to be of service to other people.
- Before asking someone to do something, check first to see if you are making a request or making a demand.
- Instead of saying what you DON’T want someone to do, say what you DO want the person to do.
- Instead of criticizing, experiment with sharing what it is you DO want.
- Catch people doing good; catch people behaving well. This works especially well with children. Stop short of praising as this implies you are judging.
- Before agreeing or disagreeing with a person’s opinions, tune in first to what the person might be feeling and needing.
- Instead of saying “No,” voice what need of yours prevents you from saying “Yes.”
- If you are feeling upset, ask, “What need of mine is unmet? What you could I do to meet it?” Try this instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or yourself.
- Instead of praising someone doing something you like, share what need of yours their action met.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) envisions a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication so all people get their needs met and can resolve conflicts peacefully.
© 2001 Gary Baran & CNVC The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.