1. Remember all human beings have similar universal needs.
  2. Check your willingness to be of service to your own needs.  Check your willingness to be of service to other people.
  3. Before asking someone to do something, check first to see if you are making a request or making a demand.
  4. Instead of saying what you DON’T want someone to do, say what you DO want the person to do.
  5. Instead of criticizing, experiment with sharing what it is you DO want.
  6. Catch people doing good; catch people behaving well.  This works especially well with children.  Stop short of praising as this implies you are judging.
  7. Before agreeing or disagreeing with a person’s opinions, tune in first to what the person might be feeling and needing.
  8. Instead of saying “No,” voice what need of yours prevents you from saying “Yes.”
  9. If you are feeling upset, ask, “What need of mine is unmet?  What you could I do to meet it?”  Try this instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or yourself.
  10. Instead of praising someone doing something you like, share what need of yours their action met.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) envisions a critical mass of people using Nonviolent Communication so all people get their needs met and can resolve conflicts peacefully.

© 2001 Gary Baran & CNVC The right to freely duplicate this document is hereby granted.